Years of childhood bullying then workplace bullying can have a deep, profound and long lasting effect on your confidence and self-esteem. As a result of childhood and workplace bullying I was a victim of my circumstances and I can see how that victim mentality has played out in my life and business.
Self-doubt, a lack of confidence and imposter syndrome…all rolled into one!
But we can’t let our past define us. The past has happened, we can’t change it. The future hasn’t happened yet, all we have is the present moment.
In this week’s blog I’ll be doing a deep dive into what I’ve learned from my experience of bullying. How I’ve found ways to heal past memories. So that I can be the inspiring and motivational leader that I see myself as today.
Forgiveness & acceptance
Bullying is not a nice experience and can really increase our self-doubt, impact our self-worth and acceptance of ourselves. Resulting in us creating negative beliefs, which we can carry with us for years.
It’s easy to be resentful of the challenging experiences at the hands of bullies, but as the saying goes ‘Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.’
The only person we’re hurting is ourselves. The best thing we can do is practise forgiveness and acceptance.
Here’s some questions I’ve asked myself about my bullies, to help me move into forgiveness and acceptance…
💜 What were they going through in their home life that made them act this way?
💙 Did they have poor role models and was this a learned behaviour from their peers?
💛 Were they expressing themselves through bully tactics as they didn’t know any other way?
💚 As they’ve grown older do they regret their behaviour?
(like the woman in the pub who came up to me and profusely apologised for bullying me at school, even though I had no idea who she was).
When we shift our perspective from one of blame to one of forgiveness and acceptance we can view things in a new light.
By practising compassion and forgiveness it helps us redefine our experience, heal past memories and help more people. When we redefine who we are we become an inspiration to others.
It’s time to ditch the self-doubt and unworthy feelings and take lessons from these experiences.
Acknowledge your feelings
As much as it’s important to look at our experiences through the lens of compassion, this doesn’t mean we’re making excuses for their behaviour.
Part of the healing process is acknowledging our own feelings in this. Some of the beliefs I created from my childhood bullying were…
💜 I don’t matter
💙 I’m not important
💛 I’m insignificant
Creating self-awareness around how bullying has influenced our belief system and created self-doubt is one of the first steps in the healing process. I know for me the bullying affected my confidence, self-belief and self-worth.
With the self-awareness of the impact bullying created for me, I’ve been able to transform my beliefs by getting the help and support I needed.
I’ve explored my thoughts, experiences and emotions through different methods. Including journaling, talking to childhood friends about past experiences, tapping (EFT) and using ho’oponopono for forgiveness.
These are all great practises for healing our past memories of being bullied. So we can increase our confidence, self-belief and self-worth.
Redefining who we are and asking for help takes strength and courage.
Letting go of past beliefs
We hold so much in our subconscious that we’re not aware of. Beliefs from our bullying days that are lingering and keeping us stuck in self-doubt.
For me, one that came to the forefront recently was a fear of rejection.
When I started to join the dots I could see this play out in so many areas of my life. From being rejected from my peer group at school. To my home environment with a focus on my Brother’s learning difficulties. Receiving rejections in business and in friendship groups to other areas of my life.
When we join the dots and find the pattern we can ask for help and get the support we need. So that we can go from feeling stuck and disempowered to helping more people. With a new found sense of confidence, self-belief and self-acceptance.
When we do our own mindset work, we come back stronger and from a much more empowered place.
Three steps to follow…
💜 Explore past experiences
💙 Connect the dots
💛 Identify your current day beliefs
When we have all three pieces of the puzzle that’s when we can go deep and do the transformational healing needed to release patterns of self-sabotage and self-doubt.
Give yourself permission to empower yourself first so you can help others.
Do you want to break through your upper limit and move into self-love and acceptance, with confidence and self-belief?
Register for my self-doubt to self-belief masterclass on Monday, 31st July at 8pm (UK). You can secure your place below…
“Suzie guided me through some yucky feelings of being misunderstood and unseen all the way through to feeling COMPLETELY WORTHY. This bright light of mine is shining!! Shining with love and happiness! I am ECSTATIC!!!”