The values that we hold dear to us are fundamental to the direction we take in our life and the goals we achieve.
We live by our values on a, daily basis and often live by others values too. At times, either in a relationship or in a work environment for example, we give away our power and don’t honour our values in the pursuit of trying to please others or follow the work ‘rules’.
Often we don’t have a choice about our values, as is dictated by our environment. One of my top values is flexibility, yet in the corporate sector I found this was not honoured to the level that felt right to me. There was too much structure i.e. you must be in by 09:00, take your lunch between 13:00 – 14:00 for an hour and finish at 17:30.
Now don’t get me wrong some companies had more flexibility than others but ultimately it came back down to me living by others rules, values and expectations. When we do that, we don’t honour our values, we simply live by rules that society or others in our life have placed upon us.
Over the years in the corporate environment I become more and more frustrated by the lack of freedom and independence in my daily life. As each, day, week, month and year went by I felt more disillusioned, less fulfilled and was ready to get out!
Where was my autonomy?
Why were my seniors allowed more flexibility than me?
How could he/she get away with speaking to me like that. Where’s the respect?
I did not feel fulfilled!
We are the master of our own destiny and after many, many years in the corporate 9 – 5 I realised that I no longer wanted to live by other peoples’ values. I could create a life that I wanted, on my terms and honouring my values.
You can have this life too!
First though you need to identify your move toward and move away from values. My move away from values were frustration, criticism and boredom. These were the values I was attached to yet wanted to move away from. My move towards values would be freedom, self-expression and fulfilment.
What are your move away from and move toward values?
Now if you’re honouring your values you’ll feel happiness in your life and if you’re not, well quite simply you won’t. They’ll be a disconnection, something missing, you won’t be moving forward in the direction you would like in your life. I know only too well having spent twenty plus years in the corporate environment listening and following other people’s rules and expectations of me.
Thankfully, I discovered the values that were all important to me although these change over time. However, we all have one overriding value which we carry with us throughout life. Mine was fun. What’s yours?
Now, put simply, I was not having fun…I was bored, under challenged, disillusioned and quite frankly unfilled in my role and fed up with the travelling! Something had to change and I knew that it wouldn’t be overnight, that I need to have a plan, get my finances in place, find my passion, set up my niche, etc.
Before you think it, yes you do need a niche! Without one you are trying to be everything to everyone and your marketing is like a scatter gun approach with you putting in a lot of hard work for very little return.
I’ve now found my niche and I’m passionate about it. I work with women to empower them to transition from the corporate 9 – 5, build a business they are passionate about and live life on their terms.
So, if you really, want your life to go in the direction you want sit down with a pen and paper and write out your top ten go toward values. On a scale of 1 – 10 mark how much you are honouring each of these values at this present time. Then write down the one value that you would like to take forward with you for the rest of your life. What would it be?
If you scored below seven on any of your values, say for example a five, ask yourself ‘what can I do to move myself from a five to a six?’ Consider what values you could let go of – your move away from values.
Remember though that values can mean different things to different people. For me fun is about supporting other people in their journey, seeing life changes in them, spending time in nature and with my friends. Whereas for other people fun maybe sending a day at Thorpe Park on rollercoasters and spending all night in the pub downing pints of larger with their mates. It’s what’s important to you that matters.
What really, sets your heart on fire, what ONE thing are you passionate about? Once you have that you have planted a seed, which will grow and develop, with the right support into a career that you are passionate about, that fulfils you and honours your values.
Remember, you don’t have to like your job, when you can LOVE it!