During my very first week in secondary school Mark Smith punched me in the stomach. No one came to my rescue, not the teacher or any of the other students. I remember thinking at the time, I must have done something wrong. That I was somehow broken and must need fixing.
Looking at my life now I recognise a similar pattern of needing to be rescued. Believing that I’m broken or need fixing. I realised I’d fallen back into an old habit of investing in the next course, coach or mentor, so that I could be rescued or fixed, but I’m not broken.
The thing is I don’t need fixing or rescuing and nor do you. Because we both have everything we need inside of us. It’s OK to invest in a course, coach or mentor, but it’s important to be really mindful and intentional as to why.
Is it from a need to be rescued? Or is it the next logical step in your business journey?
In today’s blog I’m talking all about understanding and breaking through self-sabotage, so you can ditch the self-doubt and create more impact in your business.
Joining the dots
We internalise these beliefs and play them on autopilot like an outdated iTunes playlist. They become automatic and we spend the rest of our life unravelling them and creating new beliefs. Ones that better serve and support our goals.
Everything you do now, from the thoughts you think to the actions you take, are all linked to your early years. It’s in our first 6 years that we create our meaning of the world. We then look for evidence to support that and the beliefs we created from it.
There’s two really good ways to join the dots so you can break free from self-doubt and self-sabotage. Firstly, becoming self-aware of where and how you’re self-sabotaging. Whether that’s through procrasti-learning, overthinking or perfectionism.
Secondly, journal on your beliefs and behaviours. What similar beliefs and behaviours did you experience growing up that you’re now playing out? What connections are there? How and where can you join the dots?
Breaking old patterns
Have you ever found yourself procrasti-learning? Telling yourself you ‘need’ to sign up to the next course, that you ‘must’ attend that 5 day challenge or you ‘will’ read the next self-development book?
Yeap, me too! Now here’s the thing, it’s a pattern that your subconscious mind is playing on repeat. It often feeds into the feeling and belief that ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I don’t know enough. I’m here to tell you that you ARE good enough you know enough and are not broken!
Learning and self-development absolutely 100% have their place. But the key is to have self-awareness around when you’re procrasti-learning and when you’re making an informed decision for your business. Ask yourself, do you really need this right now? Is it a priority to move your business forward? What specific pain point will it solve? Or do you see it as the next thing that you believe will fix you, your life or business?
Being honest with yourself
Sometimes self-doubt can keep us in a place of thinking that we aren’t enough and that we need to know more. I encourage you to be really honest with yourself about whether the next thing is really what you need? What is it you think this will give you? Are you looking to be rescued or fixed? If that’s the case a coach is not there to rescue or fix you.
To get an outside perspective talk to a friend, coach or mentor who will help you see this from a different angle. Once you’re aware of when you’re procrasti-learning or self-sabotaging your success by distracting yourself with the next shiny thing, it’s time to break the pattern. I want you to know you are not broken.
You can do this through self-awareness of your own thoughts. When you become aware of your thoughts ask yourself if this is a story? Are you telling yourself the story that you don’t know enough or aren’t good enough? Recognise the patterns and change your story.
I truly believe that when we have the confidence and self-belief and our mindset in the right place, anything is possible. You don’t have to let self-sabotage or self-doubt get in the way of your success.
I currently have 3 spaces available on my newly launched 1:1 coaching programme The Empowered Entrepreneur at the special beta price.
Click HERE to learn more and let’s jump on a call to see how I can support you in feeling fully supported to go after your dreams. I believe in your success and I know anything is possible 💖
“Suzie guided me through some yucky feelings of being misunderstood and unseen all the way through to feeling COMPLETELY WORTHY. This bright light of mine is shining!! Shining with love and happiness! I am ECSTATIC!!!”