“What do you think?” is a question I asked of others a lot during my 20s and 30s and it came from a place of not valuing or trusting in myself. Always seeking validation to feel good enough and basing my worth on other people’s opinions or acceptance of me..

During my time at one role, working as an Assistant in corporate London, I was micromanaged and bullied, which made me question my worth even more and ultimately destroyed my confidence. Then as my parents’ health declined and with both terminally ill, I finally stood up for myself. Making a complaint about my boss and securing my next Assistant role in just 11 days. This experience taught me three power lessons, the 3 As’s that helped me shift from self-doubt to self-worth.

In this week’s blog, we’ll be exploring how you can shift from seeking external validation to accepting yourself from within. Why it’s important to look at how far you’ve come and celebrate your achievements. Lastly, what it means to speak up, use your authentic voice, and claim your seat at the table.

Ready to dive in?

Achievements: Celebrate how far you’ve come

As Assistants we can place a lot of focus on creating external results for leaders in our organisations. We’re busy anticipating needs and making sure things run smoothly behind the scenes. The trouble is, when we are caught up in this, we forget to celebrate our own achievements.

When you’re caught up in self-doubt, it’s easy to feel like you’re not making progress or that you’re not good enough. But when you pause and look back at where you started, you’ll see how much you’ve actually achieved. Looking back isn’t about living in the past, it’s about recognising the skills you’ve built, the challenges you’ve overcome, and the person you’ve become.

Here’s how to break that pattern. Create a habit of reflecting and journaling on your achievements, both in your life and business and take the time to celebrate. Notice where you gloss over things and take the time to really give yourself a pat on the back, because you deserve it.

Authentic Voice: Speaking up and claiming your seat at the table

When you don’t speak up, you’re playing small and the message you put across to others is that your thoughts, ideas and needs don’t matter. In the moment it may feel safer to stay quiet, but being invisible just reinforces the belief that you’re not worthy of being heard. 

When you choose to step out from behind the scenes and stop worrying about what others ‘might’ think of you, that’s when you create real change and inspire others in the process.

As an Assistant we can underestimate the impact we have on others. Instead we get to focus on the influence we create, and that doesn’t require presence or a title. Simply just a decision to believe in ourselves. To stop playing small, to believe in the fantastic job we are all doing and trusting that we can achieve anything we set our mind to.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a powerful way to help you boost your self-worth, show up regularly online, grow your audience and attract new clients in your Virtual Assistant. Or if you’re working as a Personal or Executive Assistant, EFT can help you activate your authentic voice and create more opportunities in your role. It does this by breaking down old beliefs and behaviours which are keeping you playing small.

Acceptance: Finding valuation from within

When you’re constantly asking, “What do you think?”, like I used to, you’re handing over your power to other people. You’re waiting for them to accept you instead of you accepting yourself. Even when you receive praise from someone else, it never feels enough, because you’re waiting for the next person and the next to approve you. External validation is like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it, it will never satisfy you.

Let’s look at inner acceptance which means knowing your worth, regardless of what others think. It’s about accepting yourself, your strengths, challenges, and character flaws. Without needing someone else to validate that you are enough. Because you become the source of your own validation and acceptance, which no one can take away from you.

Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend. Notice when you’re using someone else’s standards to judge yourself and ask, “Are these actually my standards, or am I trying to meet someone else’s expectations of me?” Give yourself permission to be good enough without being perfect.

Your next step

These three A’s; Achievement, Acceptance, and Authentic Voice have completely changed the way I show up in my life, business and as an Assistant. They’ve helped me grow my worth and I’ve let go of seeking approval from everyone else. Instead, I’ve chosen to trust my own judgement and have gone from staying quiet to speaking up and sharing my voice. Because all Assistants deserve to share their authentic voice. You don’t have to wait for someone to tell you that you’re good enough or perfect. Your worth isn’t something you earn, it’s something you already hold inside of you.

What of the 3 A’s most resonates with you?

I encourage you to celebrate one achievement today. Accept yourself as you are in this moment. Speak up authentically about something that matters to you. Every small shift creates big transformations, just start with a 1% change notice how it evolves over time.

If you’re ready to go deeper with growing your self-worth, download my Worthy Assistant Toolkit, a powerful resource designed to help you break through confidence blocks and start showing up more confidently in your business or career. Includes a FREE bonus Ideal Client Attraction Activation (worth £11).

Follow me on Facebook or LinkedIn for practical tips and real talk about building an Assistant career or business rooted in self-worth. You are already worthy, it’s time to embrace and own what is already inside of you and stop playing small.