I spent five years working as an Assistant for a boss who made Jekyll and Hyde look like the BFG! One minute she was super lovely and calling my Suzie Su. The next she was throwing paper in the air and saying I was useless and might as well go home. This resulted in a lot of negative self-talk about how I perceived myself.
If you called a calculator a calculator, she’d call it a scientific calculating device. If you called it a scientific calculating device, she’d call it a calculator! Whatever I did, I felt I could never get anything right. Along with the bullying and micro management, you can imagine that it did wonders for my confidence.
This experience really affected my view of myself. The way she treated me effected me internally and as a result it created a lot of negative self-talk. You could say it created a self-fulfilling prophecy!
At the time I was in the early stages of my self-development journey. Studying a degree in psychology I didn’t have the tools needed to support me go from self-doubt to self-belief. But as an employee turned entrepreneur, I do now and I want to share them with you.
So that you can go from feeling stuck to free and lit up in your coaching business. Plus better manage your negative self-talk for a more empowered you.
Shift your vibration
Every day we’ll go through a range of different emotions. From negative to positive which can affect how we talk to ourselves. Negative self-talk can take over and you fall into self-doubt in your business. It can feel like you’re pushing water uphill. It’s important to recognise what the predominant emotion is that you’re feeling.
Your feelings and emotions are your body’s way of communicating with you and telling you what it needs. They’re also an indication of when things are out of flow. The better you feel the more in flow you feel. The easier and more joyful life and business gets to be.
Follow these steps to help you shift your emotions and break free from your negative thoughts…
❤️ Ask yourself what is the predominant emotion you’re feeling right now i.e frustration, sadness
💚 Ask yourself if you’re focusing on feelings and actions that are expanding your energy. Are they helping you feel good or keeping you stuck in this negative emotion?
💛 Shift your focus onto what makes you feel good and / or take actions that help you feel good
💜 Walking, singing, dancing, hot bath, power nap, meditation, cuddle cat / dog, phone a friend
Notice how your emotion shifts from ones that are heavy to a higher vibration on the emotional scale. When you lean into better feeling emotions you shift your energy and start feeling for better feeling thoughts.
Abraham Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale
Taking Incremental Steps
No one wants to feel weighed down with negative thoughts that stops you taking the actions needed in your business. The actions that will help us help others and support us in achieving our goals. I know how difficult it can be. When you want to take action but your internal self-talk is holding you back. Keeping you stuck and self-sabotaging your dreams.
I’m not going to give you a magic elixir that will take away thoughts that are keeping you stuck. What I’m going to do is share with you the power of incremental steps. Something I learnt from my mentor Denise Duffield-Thomas.
We want change but equally it can feel uncomfortable, that’s why taking incremental steps is so important. When you notice those negative thoughts creeping in and sabotaging your business success, ask yourself this…
What’s the ‘next best’ feeling thought I can reach for in this moment?
That’s it. Keep it simple and reach for the ‘next best’ feeling thought. Then the next, and the next, until you shift your internal dialogue to one of ‘I can do this’!
This is one of my favourites for interrupting negative thought patterns. It’s great for reprogramming your mind to shift out of self-doubt and into self-belief. Our beliefs run on a subconscious programme. To reprogramme that we need to feed it new commands, much like we would with a computer. Think of your brain like an operating system and reprogram it with new beliefs.
But first, you need to break down the old beliefs before you can fill your mind with new beliefs. This is a process and not something that happens overnight. There’s so many ways to create a pattern interrupt which will help you break out of your old belief patterns.
Having the self-awareness of your beliefs is really important. So pay attention to the stories you’re telling yourself. The next time you find yourself repeating an outdated belief, try some tried and tested pattern interrupts. Break the old pattern and create a new pattern of thoughts and create a new set of positive actions.
💚 Gently snap an elastic band on your wrist when you notice a negative thought pattern. Then replace it with a more positive thought, even if you don’t quite believe it yet
💛 When you notice a negative thought pattern, say out loud or in your head ‘STOP! Is this thought serving me?’ The answer will be no, so reach for a thought which lifts you up instead
💜 Read, speak, listen to affirmations daily to reprogramme your mind. Your subconscious mind learns through repetition. The more you follow this practice the more you rewire your brain for success
Are you looking for support with breaking free from negative self-talk? Ready to create the success you desire in your business and take control of your life? Then book a FREE discovery call with me today!
We’ll look at how I can best support you. So that you can reach your business goals with confidence and self-belief without being held back by negative thought patterns. Remember, the world needs you and what you have to offer 💕